Everyone is always asking us, why are you guys always so damn happy all the time?
Me: It’s simple really. We are in love. I mean, isn’t everyone happy when they’re in love?
Them: Of course they are, but how are you guys able to stay that way?
Me: We keep the passion fire blazing.
Them: well yeah, I’ve tried that, but it never really seemed to work for long. So what’s your trick for doing that?
Me: it’s not a trick. It really all starts with 10 easy steps, anyone can do. And, if you will practice them, everything else will all start to make sense, and fall into place. And since you asked, here they are, in no particular order of importance; my 10 easy steps for keep passion alive in a marriage:
3. Being Grateful.
5. Being Appreciative.
7. Being Thankful.
8. Acknowledging Value.
9. Giving Credit.
10. Place your partner on a Pedestal.
Could I possibly make this any clearer?
Oh, and in case you think I missed it; YES, I DO realize everything on the list all means the same thing. 😉
That’s because, if you don’t get this ONE THING right, NOTHING else you EVER do will be enough.
Today is yet another anniversary of the day I first met my Amazing wife, Dawn. (Happy Anniversary, Baby) And as incredible as it may sound, I TRULY feel more passion for her now, than on the day we first met. (And trust me, here, there was a LOT of freaking passion on that day!)
As I reflect over these past few years, I ask myself,
“If there was ONE quality that I feel is the single greatest contributing factor as to WHY I still feel so much love and passion for my wife, what would that ONE factor be?”
For me, it really boils down to one thing; GRATITUDE!
You see, I don’t think there’s a single day that goes by, where I’m not stopping myself, taking the DELIBERATE time to REALLY stop, and say to God/Universe, and to her,
Well okay, I don’t say “thank you” three times to her. That would be weird. 😜
But, most days, I do do this. And usually several times a day. No kidding.
I can hear some of the grumbling voices now.
“Sheeesh, who has that much time?”
Hate to burst your excuse bubble there, Cupcake, but YOU DO!!!
Be honest; you piss off plenty of time on Facefuck, or perusing golf, hot rod, or chopper magazines. Or with your eyes glued to the boob-tube. True? Don’t lie.
By the way, any idea on why it’s called a boob-tube?
Stop kidding yourself. You have time for all that other meaningless crap, but finding the time to devote to valuing and appreciating your mate is a pain in the ass?
Well, my friend, your priorities are seriously jacked.
Okay, for arguments sake, let’s say you really don’t have time for all this mushy, feely crap. You’re too busy; you’ve got money to make. To this I say,
“You CLEARLY have NO CLUE as to the cost of a divorce, do you?”
Here’s another tip. Save yourself 10 years of labor, and invest the time in your marriage instead. The return on investment will provide a much greater yield than that job or business ever will; especially on your deathbed.
AND a warm bed is a nice place to sleep. Catch my drift? 😉
But, I acquiesce.
This is not a skill that comes natural to most human beings. In fact, it’s one that has been personally BEAT into me.
Most people are SO busy focusing on what they WANT, and DON’T yet have, that they, more often than not, fail to truly value the things and people, they ALREADY have. And topping the list is usually the one who is the very closest to them.
If I can impart ONE invaluable skill you MUST develop if you ever want everlasting passion, it is this:
Appreciate every damn thing they mean to you, and do for you.
Appreciation is a muscle; and like any muscle, it requires being pushed in order to get stronger. Or better yet, it’s that “if there was ONE karate move to win any fight, what would it be?” move.
Clearly, there are more steps to keeping passion alive than just appreciation, BUT if you gloss over this one, and don’t give it the full credit it deserves, everything else will be a lesson in futility.
Don’t know where to start? How about writing down 10 things that you appreciate about your mate.
DO IT! Write them down, NOW!
Okay, I’ll go first.
1. I LOVE how much FUN we have together.
2. I LOVE how funny she is.
3. I LOVE how smart she is.
4. I LOVE her insanely delicious cooking.
5. I LOVE how she always pleases me in our bedroom.
6. I LOVE her compassion.
7. I LOVE her mad desire to grow and improve.
8. I LOVE her loyalty.
9. I LOVE that she’s not afraid to be afraid.
10. I LOVE her smile.
Now your turn.
Next, set an alarm on your phone to go off every 3 hours. Use this to remind yourself of what, and how much you appreciate your lover.
Want to add fuel to the fire? Don’t keep it to yourself. Tell’em.
Do this every day, and I promise you WILL light a fire under their ass. (Well, unless they secretly despise you. In that case, you might be screwed. But then again, maybe this is the one piece that’s been missing. And often times, persistence beats resistance. Jus’sayin’…)
Also, at first, they may wonder what you did wrong, and are trying to cover for. (This is natural, and eventually will pass.)
And lastly, it’s inevitable that they WILL, at some point, start taking this all for granted. (Again, it’s in our nature.) I’ll give more on how to deal with this later on. But for now, you’ve got enough to keep you busy.
Now, go DO IT!
~ Lucky Read
SINGLES ONLY, keep reading.
NOW! For those who don’t yet have that special someone, and are still waiting. I haven’t forgotten you.
Please understand this; the heartache and yearning you feel now? It’s all part of it. You NEED this time! No, I mean seriously. You NEED IT!
You see, eventually, if you keep preparing YOU, and keep making room in your life for “THE ONE,” that space you are creating is creating a vacuum, and it must be filled. That’s how vacuums work. And when that special love/soul/sole mate shows up, it’s going to be easy for you to appreciate them. (In the beginning)
But, as the months and years pass, if you’re normal, (I know, why be normal? But that’s why you’re reading our stuff, right?) you WILL be tempted to forget. Oh yeah, I know, not YOU.
BUT, if you do start slipping into that trap of normalcy, REMEMBER THIS TIME!
FEEL your lonely emotions RIGHT NOW! I mean really feel them. And REMEMBER THEM.
Why? Because that memory is serving an invaluable purpose to you right now, IF you will remember it, and USE it.
It says in the Bible that, “All things work for the GOOD of those who love God, and are the called, according to his purpose.”
ALL THINGS! And what does that leave out?
You are being prepared. Can you not see this?
Of course you can.
Now, your mate is on their way. Don’t you have some preparing to do?
Now hop to it.
All my love.
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